Okay, so we’re in the 70s, late 70s to be less general. We’ve got a kid called Joe Lamb: his mother was just killed in some unknown horrific accident. He’s at a funeral held in her honor. Just to kick off the poistivity, this opening scene is awesome. It feels very real and not like some staged instance that is just there to be there, very alive and creating an atmosphere that feels rich with stories, the stories of each character we meet in this sequence that is (some more notable than others).

We cut to four months later and Joe is working on filming a zombie flick with his friends, the director being his buddy Charles, a chunky funnyman who seems to be very concerned with their film’s “production value.” During the shooting for this film, a train rushes right by the set and gets into a terrible accident, nearly killing the cast and crew. They discover that some sort of living cargo has escaped from the train, and is now loose on the streets of the hometown of our heroes. Over the course of several days people go missing, the military arrives (of course), the citizens’ dogs run off, and nobody knows what is causing all this. What could this monsterous creature be? Is it one at all? Well, go see the friggin’ movie! It’s AWESOME!

I don’t even want to say a whole lot just so you can experience what I experienced (and I need to go to an acting gig in a bit). This movie, in my opinion, is truly an instant classic. It’s hard to find fault with it. The dialogue is hysterical at times, and then also chilling during some moments, but never swings too far one way or too far the other. J.J. Abrams was very good at the when directing Star Trek as well, keeping a balance in atmosphere throughout the film. He really is a master level director already.

I was also shocked with how good the effects were in this movie. I won’t tell you what the thing is that escaped from the train, but it looks badass, for real. And the train crash scene is epic, looking not only very real, but also spontaneous and thrilling all at once.

The cast in this film is phenomenal, especially considering the main star, Joel Courtney, is doing filmwork for the first time, as in he’s never been in a movie before. I tell ya, the stuff he does here is so real. Instead of being the indicated crap you see on T.V. these days, he brings to the table an actual human being experiencing what’s happening in the film. And Kyle Chandler as Deputy Lamb was absolutely awesome. You got how torn he was about doing the right thing, and you got how brave he was when he actually did it (or how wrong he felt when he didn’t). The other kids did a great job as well, once again, as I said about Joel, being very real and entertaing all the way through (especiall Ryan Lee. God is that kid a scream).

So go see Super 8, now! It’s honestly the best movie you’ll see this year. It may be the best movie you’ve seen in the past five years, truly. I know I’ll be using it as an example for years to come of an excellent film.

I don’t want to spend this entire opening talking about the movie I’ll be reviewing in a moment, so let’s get started. Two of my favorite films are about to duke it out. This is: VERSUS.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Okay, so let’s face it, as much as we want to deny it the first impression is the one that counts. People want a movie to have a fantastic opening, so that they can tell all of their friends about it. Isn’t it so cool to be able to do that, to just walk up to a buddy and let those first few minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars, or Casino Royale roll off your tongue? It gets them pumped to go see it, and gets you pumped to see it again. The opening scenes of a film are crucial for Man to be entertained. So which of these two films has the better opening scene?

All right, let’s start with Fight Club. As great as it is to watch the end of the film at the beginning, if the ending is made awesome by the crescendo leading up to it, don’t do it. If the ending of a film can’t stand alone as chilling or impressive, it shouldn’t be done. Don’t get me wrong, the opening of Fight Club is fine. It justs feels a bit slow and sleepy to me. It’s funny, but not exactly as awesome as the opening of the opponent.

The opening scen of Inception is intense. The music and atmosphere are established right away and feeling of darkness and mystery overcome you immediately when it begins (or at least that’s how it was with me). Even though you don’t know what’s happening, you’re hooked, and when Cobb and Arthur are pulling of a heist in a collapsing dream, it’s pretty cool. Isn’t it ironic that both movies I picked begin at the end? Or is that coincidental? Ah, whatever. Hopefully some grammar Nazi will show up and correct me.

Anyhow, the point goes to Inception this time around. The opening was just more fulfilling.

CAST: Okay, now let’s get down to what actually may be the hardest decision in the whole article: the cast. The reason it will be so hard: these were two amazing casts. I want that clarified before I say anything negative about them. With that said, let’s do Inception first this time.

Holy Christ was the casting director for this film awesome. I always for some reason get ticked when I see Leonardo DiCaprio doing a good job, but whatever. He was pretty awesome in this film, creating a strong main character who, though conflicted, certainly has good intentions. Some people may say that they predicted the choice Cobb (DiCaprio) would make near the film’s end when having a certain meeting I won’t spoil here, but I honestly couldn’t tell what he was going to do. He seemed very split between both possible decisions, and I was real happy about that. The supporting cast was great too, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt (playing Arthur) being my favorite of them. He was spot on when playing the paragon member of the “dream team.” (Oh God, did I just say that?) Ellen Page as Ariadne was good, mostly playing a character who was much like the audience: curious and wanting to understand what was happening between Cobb and his subconscious. The rest of the cast was great as well, mixing in enough comedic relief while still remaining serious throughout the picture.

Now, Fight Club’s cast is a bit trickier to judge against the opponent’s. For one thing, it’s smaller. It instantly has a disadvantage now. However, having one of the greatest actors of the past two decades, Edward Norton, kind of helps. Oh, as well as Brad Pitt. Even though he has that whole, “he’s just playing Brad Pitt as a psychopath,” thing going on, he’s still a good actor. So, did the cast do well here? Hell yeah they did! Dude, I don’t like “geeking out” mid-review, but Ed Norton as an insomniac cubical worker is probably one of the most hilarious things in the world. Every line that came out of his mouth either had me cracking up or had me going, “Damn!” It was awesome. Also, I don’t care if it’s just Brad Pitt playing Brad Pitt, his delivery was spot on. Everything he did in this movie as Tyler Durden makes him one of the most memorable characters in cinema. A phenomenal performance behind a phenomenal character. Now, about Helena Bonham Carter. Look, I know she’s supposed to be a psycho (and don’t get me wrong, she did a fine job as well), but there’s one thing that’s off. She started out as the craziest person in the whole movie, and then all of the sudden by the end she’s telling Ed Norton that he’s certifiably insane? What? Maybe I’m being picky, but that really did bug me. However, it didn’t take away from the quality of the cast one bit. And Robert Paulson, we will miss you (inside joke: go see the movie).

The point goes to Fight Club this time around folks. Congratulations!

DIALOGUE: What’s a good movie without lines you can’t repeat to your friends until they want to split your head open like ripe melon? I’ll tell you what it is: Wall-E. Anyhow, now that we have that bad joke out of the way, we may proceed.

Fight Club’s dialogue is some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever heard (as I mentioned earlier). It’s also some of the creepiest. Look, let me just link you to a scene I noted on Facebook and you’ll see what I mean: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=182516301785534. Or how about this scene, also very interesting in terms of its darkness: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=182518058452025. You see? Clever, but definitely dark. The script is crafted in such a way that an idiot can’t like it, which is a good thing. There are plenty of lines that are memorable, such as the all time favorite, “The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club.“

The script for Inception was good, but I’m not sure it was better. In fact, in my opinion, it wasn’t. It was definitely poetic and has a lot of style and humor to it, but Fight Club’s script is on a whole different echelon. It is practically a thesis, to be honest. Therefore the point goes to the soap maker this round (another inside joke).

DIRECTION: Christopher Nolan has never, as far as I’ve seen, done a bad film. Memento was good, The Dark Knight was good, and his latest masterpiece is a great work of art. The set pieces are stunning, the effects are beautiful, and the way the tale of Cobb is told is fun and exciting all the way through. When the “dream team” (ugh…) finally begins their big mission halfway through the film, you can feel the intensity of the job they’re about to pull off just in the way they look at each other. It’s really fascinating. And of course who could forget that ending. Seriously Chris, that was just priceless. I hope you never tell us what happened, so that it’ll always be awesome.

Fight Club was directed by David Fincher. For those of you who don’t know, he’s the guy who directed The Curious Case of Forest Gu– oh, I’m mean Benjamin Button, oh, and some movie about Facebook or something. It probably sucked. Anyhow, he definitely did a nice job with Fight Club. It was very dark and very tense, but maybe a little too dark. Sometimes I wished, while watching it, that it would lighten up a bit. I like dark films, but this was pushing past Watchmen level at some points.

Because of the above stated, I’m afraid the direction award goes to Inception. Sorry Fincher. Maybe your movie about that girl with the dragon tattoo will be less dreary.

Okay, it looks like we have a tie! Wait, no, that can’t be right. There has to be one more thing, something so important it overshadows everything known to Man concerning life, the universe and everything…

THE STORY: The story of a film is generally pretty basic in nature, and then elaborated on by the presentation of that story. Inception has not only an elaborate presentation, but an elaborate tale as well. The story of the mind being the scene of a crime has so many layers that it’s often hard (for some viewers) to keep track of it. Oftentimes I’ve been told that nobody can get it the first time through, even though I can attest to that statement being completely false, considering I did. I’ll admit I noticed new details after I saw it five more times (don’t judge me), but to be fair it didn’t change dramatically.

Fight Club’s story doesn’t really pick up until the meeting with Tyler Durden, and though a well presented tale you don’t really understand it until very near to its climax. That’s how it was for me, anyway. I love the movie, don’t get me wrong, but there’s just some stuff that comes up in the story that isn’t worth it until the end. And even though it kind of works with this film, for me some things didn’t. I’m trying not to spoil anything so I won’t give my one perfect example of this, but anybody who has seen it probably remember’s the scene in the car when Tyler and Ed’s character have that argument. After seeing the ending, does that scene make any sense? No, it doesn’t. And so the tie is broken. Inception wins the bout!

FINAL TOTAL

FIGHT CLUB: 2               INCEPTION: 3

Thanks for reading! Be sure to return for more!

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken:
The crownless again shall be king.

That is from the first of J.R.R. Tolkien’s fine trilogy (well, it was six books if you’re being technical). May the year ahead be grand, and may it bring good fortune to those who deserve it.

Okay, so it opens up with some slides showing these random alien sightings all across Earth (which I presume after checking out the sight and looking tirelessly at the Wikipedia entry after Wikipedia entry are real pictures). They’re all really cool slides and have a creepy feel. After the slides go a really cool music track begins to play. I can’t even begin to describe this music, it was just so different and fresh and new and it fit this trailer so perfectly, that I can’t help but think I’m going to see like forty internet videos use the same music and pretend they’re original. (Anyone notice the overuse of the Mass Effect 2 trailer music? Same thing.)

Anyhow, the music starts and we get some strange shots of L.A. with no sound, save the music. Then, slowly but surely, the shots change from just being regular L.A. shots to shots of ships dropping into L.A. from the sky. Then we see shots of soldiers arriving as the conflict ensues, all silent mind you (save the music). It’s just such an interesting feel, so quite and peaceful, even though death and destruction is right before your eyes. There’s some fantastic shots of the combat that will be taking place in the movie, even a few moving shots that really got to me (and all the while that music is get louder and louder, and better and better). Suddenly we get shots of the soldiers of the film in what look like alien hive nests (no sound, just music rising more) and on alien ships. And then we get, as the music of the trailer reaches its peak, one of the creepiest trailer shots (for an action film) I think I’ve ever seen, featuring a soldier firing in slow motion at enemies not seen in the camera’s lens, as a blurred metallic creature slowly creeps up behind the human. And then, silence comes, and the trailer ends.

Guys, if you haven’t seen it yet you need to look it up on YouTube, now. I saw in the theater recently, and my eyes were completely transfixed on the screen. It just looked awesome, felt awesome, and was overall awesome. I really hope this movie isn’t a disappointment. I also really hope it isn’t just an Independence Day re-skin. Oh, and of course they had better put that friggin’ music in there: so good.

Okay, so you may have noticed that just about every review I’ve ever done is pretty positive. This will officially be my first negative one. I am reviewing:

So, where should I begin? Okay, let’s start with a weak storyline. Angelina Jolie plays the lover of a dude named Alexander Pierce who cheated a gangster and is on the run. The lover is assigned the duty of making Pierce’s trail cold by leading the people hunting him after a dude who looks like him. Ultimately, Jolie’s character and this stranger (who is a tourist played by Johnny Depp) develop a romantic relationship, and then we discover that Jolie is a spy. Wait, what? Okay, so the idea then is that Jolie all along was an agent who was supposed to keep watch over Mr. Pierce, and they fell in love, and now she’s been kicked out of her agency (and maybe I’m hard of hearing or something, but it was never made clear which agency she worked for, just that they were British). So, there’s the story. Interested? Don’t be, it sucks. Trust me when I say there’s only one good moment and I won’t spoil it. I’ll just let you know you’ll have to sit through the entire movie to get to it.

Okay, so next I’ll go over the romance. Let me just start this flop of a film. Some of the stuff that happened was just unbearable. I mean, this was really corny stuff. There were sequences where all I could do was think of the incredible Battle: Los Angeles trailer beforehand to keep my mind off of them. I really just didn’t enjoy them at all. Maybe a bit when Jolie wasn’t talking, but everything else was just bad.

While watching Depp I could tell he was at least trying. He’s never terrible, but this didn’t exactly strengthen my faith in him picking good movies(or his agent, anyway). Alice in Wonderland, and now this? Jesus, I hope the next Pirates of the Caribbean doesn’t suck. I will admit that there were some things the guy did that made me crack up (there’s a rooftop chase scene that was great). His accent was a bit off, seeing as he kept interchanging between American and English (ugh…), but aside from that he was okay.

I’ve decided the if you look two paragraphs up you’ll already be able to deduce my review of Jolie’s performance. Let’s just say (and this may sound wrong, but I only speak the truth) that the only good thing about it was the fact the cinematographer had a thing for her posterior. Ah, yes, that was nice.

The music was at times cool, but at times just terrible and corny. When the two kissed (in a dream mind you) the orchestra boomed in such a way it made you cringe with embarrassment. However, the music and mood did match at some points, and when it did it matched well.

Now, there’s the matter of the ending, which I mentioned earlier was actually good. The last few scenes before the film’s epilogue are quite enjoyable and actually a bit tense. And there’s a neat twist that made me go, “Oh, wow!” That was out loud by the way. So, I might argue that if you’re really feeling it you could stick out through the movie just for the end.

So, overall, The Tourist is rather odd, and boring, and cheesy. It isn’t a great film, and it isn’t even a relatively good film either. However, despite it’s shortcomings, that ending is pretty worthwhile, so I’ll just say it’s an okay movie. But it’s just clinging on the edge of okay, like the forth Indiana Jones movie. It may be worthwhile to people who like cheese, but I don’t. I like chicken, lots of chicken, and you’ll do better going to see a movie like The Social Network (which I haven’t seen but can safely assume is good) or Tron: Legacy (same as before, should be good).

Okay, so first there’s the gifts my siblings got: my little brother got a brand new Toshiba gaming laptop with a slick screen and top of the line graphics card, Fable III Collector’s Edition, some other really cool video games, an ultralight, extremely durable remote controlled helicopter (from yours truly), and a lot of candy!

My younger sister got an incredible amount of toys, an amount way too high to count. I mean, it’s unbelievable how many toys she got, it’s ridiculous. You know that awesome toy you saw the last time you were at Toys ‘R’ Us, that one? Yeah, she has it. Oh, and she also got her first bike!

Then there’s my parents, who got some cool sci-fi books, some cookies, hugs, tools (from sis’, for Dad), cooking supplies (from me, for Mom), and some video games (Mom got Mass Effect 2).

My grandmother received some nice presents as well, one of the key ones (also from me (sorry)) being her Steamboat Willy snow globe, as well as Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury (incredible book).

Lastly, there’s me. I got a new Toshiba gaming laptop (awesome), tools (awesome), a new basketball (awesome), Shutter Island and Inception (I’ve reviewed both on the blog, go look for those write-ups), Fallout: New Vegas (decent, so far), an Epic Mickey t-shirt (but not the game), Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II Collector’s Edition (haven’t played yet) and some other stuff that I for some reason can’t remember off the top of my head. Ah well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll have reviews of Killing Floor and New TF2 up soon. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

To begin, I just want to make it known that this is not a movie for non-gamers. Meaning, if you don’t play much video games, don’t go see this movie. I’m sorry Scott Pilgrim, but I can’t lie to my readers. It is possible to enjoy the film without being a gamer, but the chances are very slim.

And now onto the plot. Scott Pilgrim, the protagonist, lives in the “mysterious land” of Toronto, Canada. He’s a nerd, a bit of a jerk (breaking girls hearts all the time), and lives with his gay roommate across the street from the house where he grew up. One day he meets this girl named Ramona Flowers, falls in love with her, and begins dating her. Soon after this happens, he is attacked by Ramona’s first evil ex-boyfriend. He defeats the villain, but learns from Ramona that there are six more he has to deal with. And I think that’s all that needs to be said about the plot right now. Let me just say this: it’s told extremely well. The basic concept of how it’s told is that in a musical, when the emotion gets too strong, people burst into song. When the emotion gets too strong in Scott Pilgrim, people burst into awesome, video game fight scenes. That’s all it took to get me to see the movie. Great concept in my opinion.

Now, the only way to have a great comedy is to have a great cast. And boy does this film deliver. Michael Cera is the perfect Scott Pilgrim, and evolves from (and this is going to sound very cheesy) zero to hero excellently throughout the film. It was very believable Michael, seriously. And the lovely Mary Elizabeth Winstead did an excellent job as Ramona Flowers, not being flat or dull as I (forgive me) expected beforehand. The supporting cast was spot on as well, turning the world of Scott Pilgrim into a living, breathing, yet fantastic realm of excitement. Scott’s gay roommate, Wallace, was a riot. Everything he did had me hysterically. The evil ex-boyfriends were friggin’ hilarious, my favorite being Todd, the third of them. I won’t spoil his secret, but let me tell you that when you find it out, you’re going to laugh really friggin’ hard.

I give major props to Edgar Wright, the director. I haven’t read the graphic novels that this film was based off of, but I’ve heard from fans of the series that he really made the story leap right off the pages. It’s really cool when a director is able to create a film that really respects the source material. Nice job, Edgar.

Also, I’d just like to say that the music in this movie is awesome. I’m going to get the soundtrack off of iTunes soon. It’s great. And the way they incorporate it into the ex-boyfriend battles as an actual part of them is superb.

Overall, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is one of my favorite comedies already. It’s very funny, charming, and if you’re a gamer you really feel a connection to it. I love it, and hopefully so will all of you. See you next time.